Who is the better wife in polygamy? Women who are 2nd, 3rd or 4th wives fascinate some people. Others have a strong dislike for wives who are 2nd, 3rd or 4th.
I used to think there was a difference between 1st wives and women who married their husbands in the order of 2nd, 3rd and 4th. My way of thinking changed when some 2nd, 3rd and 4th wives joined us here at polygamy 411. I conversed with them and learned from them.
First, I learned that when it comes to who is the better wife in polygamy, the 2nd, 3rd and 4th wives are no different from wives who married their husbands first. All wives are human and bleed the same as anyone else.
In other words, they feel pain and they have emotions. Women want the same things that any woman wants. A woman wants to meet a man who is suitable for her to wed, and wants to marry him.
Women want a husband whom they can love and will love them. Females long for affection. Everyone wants companionship. A wife wants someone who will be supportive of her and hopefully is capable of providing for her financially. She wants a man to father her children and/or be a father to the children that she already has.
As can be seen, 2nd, 3rd and 4th wives are not Martians. They are not from planet Mars. In reality, they are earthly beings the same as the rest of us.
Just because a wife married her husband 1st doesn’t make her better or more important than a wife who married the same man after her. 1st doesn’t equate to better in a polygamous marriage.
Who is the better wife in polygamy from an Islamic perspective?
In short, I learned from reading the Holy Quran that Allah says the best person is the one who is the most righteous. Indeed, I believe it. By all means, faith is important. It’s not about the order that the wives married in. It must be remembered that we should compete for righteousness. We shouldn’t compete for the place of best wife. If the wife is righteous, she will be a good wife to her husband.
I think many times wives try to belittle and demean the other wives despite what order they are in. To point out, it stems from base emotions. For example, some of the emotions are: jealousy, envy, selfishness, hatred, anger, bitterness, and rancor etc., All of those are not good to have.
We mustn’t lose sight of the fact that Allah chooses our mates for us. A wife who remembers it will accept her polygamous marriage. She’ll accept her husband and the other wife/wives in the marriage, as well.
In conclusion, to answer the question: Who is the better wife in polygamy? Is it the 1st, 2nd, 3rd or 4th one?” The answer is: Better is not based on the order that the wives married in. To repeat, righteousness is most important. Strive to be the most righteous servant of Allah.
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