Why Women Should Embrace Polygamy

why women should embrace polygamyA post that polygamy 411 received from a commentator, inspired me to write this article about why women should embrace polygamy. She asked about the meaning of a nightmare that she had in which her husband married another woman. He took on a second wife. She said that she woke up from her dream while crying and screaming. She wanted to know if anyone else had experienced such a thing and what it means.

First I must say that when I speak of polygamy, it’s in terms of Islam. Muslims should know that Allah allows men to have more than one wife. Of course, Islam doesn’t allow women to have more than one husband. Women will marry men who are already married and become part of polygamous marriages.

Why women should embrace polygamy is a question that all should answer

My take is that the commentator’s nightmare signified a deep-rooted fear that she has. She may not have an awareness of it. She fears that her husband may one day become polygamous. Many times dreams represent something that is bothering us subconsciously. It tends to present itself in a dream.

Probably, it’s a good time for the writer to learn as much about Islam and polygamy as she can. She needs to learn to see it as something that is a very good part of our religion. Even if she never becomes a part of a polygamous marriage, it’s important for her to like the concept of it. It’s not a good sign when a woman hates, rejects, or have a fear of something that Allah has made lawful. She needs to remember that Allah is a Just God. He doesn’t allow something that is bad for us.

To want to please Allah is why women should embrace polygamy

To accept polygamy is about more than a wife not having a problem with her husband taking on another wife. It’s about her having enthusiasm about it. She should have a healthy interest in it, if she becomes a part of it or not. There is no room for a wife to have dread or hopelessness or negativity about it. Nor should a non-married women frown on it.

It’s about welcoming what Allah orders for us – whatever He has written for us. For to reject the concept of polygamy is to reject Allah and to have a problem with Him. It is to have an issue with what He has allowed for us. In essence, it’s like saying she knows, and He does not know.

In conclusion, a woman needs to know that she will not find a believer debating the good and bad of polygamy. It would amount to vain talk. We should like what Allah likes and dislike what He dislikes. He does not like unbelief, wickedness and rebellion. Let us not go up against Allah, and what He has made lawful for us.

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Why women should embrace polygamy

Books about polygamy in Islam

why women should embrace polygamy

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7 Comments

  • anabellah

    January 27, 2017

    I added (which is not in the Quran) to the last post that I wrote. It now reads ” there are many people who can only speak of the story/stories of Ali and Fatima (which is not in the Quran).”

  • anabellah

    January 27, 2017

    Mari2,

    When it comes to polygamy, it baffles me that with all that Allah says in the Holy Quran, there are many people who can only speak of the story/stories of Ali and Fatima (which is not in the Quran). I see it as you do. Our beloved Prophet Muhammad (PBUH), received the Holy Book – the Quran, dictated by Allah, written by noble scribes in Heaven. The Book was protected by Allah himself. YET, people dismiss all of that and goes to other story/stories to support their desires, and what they want to believe.

    I hear you about how men encourage men to marry virgins only and discourage them from marrying widows or divorcees or older women. Yet, they say they follow the sunnah of the Prophet Muhammad (PBUH). As we know, it is said that Aishah (one of the wives’s of the Prophet Muhammad (PBUH)) said the Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) was the walking Quran.

  • Mari2

    January 27, 2017

    @Ana,

    I also see the Prophet’s marriages as examples of both.  I don’t understand the hadith where he urged Ali not to become polygamous because it would somehow upset Fatima.  It doesn’t make sense in light of the Quran.  I also cannot understand how the Prophet married widows, divorcees and older women as an example, yet some Muslim countries forbid men from marrying those same kinds of women the Prophet himself married.

     

  • anabellah

    January 26, 2017

    I have found from being on this blog all these years that the people who come here talking about Ali and Fatimah are anti-polygamous people. They rely on the various stories in an effort to support their position that polygamy is not a good thing. In essence they slander our Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) and make him look bad. They make him sound as though he was a womanizer and a hypocrite.

    First, Ali and Fatima are not even mentioned in the Quran. They are not our examples. Furthermore, Allah says that His Prophets are our example. Again, ALLAH SAYS His Prophets are our examples. The two women He mentioned in the Quran as being honorable are Mary (the mother of Prophet Jesus (PBUH)) along with Pharoah’s wife.

    There are a number of stories out there about Ali and Fatimah, so only Allah knows which one IF any of them are true.

    Common sense, along with having read the Quran and having understanding of it would let one know that the Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) did not marry a number of women, which made him polygamous, and then say or insinuate in any way that polygamy was a bad thing. To say that he didn’t want his daughter’s husband Ali to become polygamous because it was a bad thing and would hurt Fatima makes no sense. That is absolutely ludicrous. It’s foolish. It portrays our beloved Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) in a terrible light. Allah in the Quran tells us not to tell people to do something or not do something that we don’t do or do ourselves. It amounts to a major wrongdoing and sin.

    Here the Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) is polygamous and he would actually tell Ali not to become polygamous because it would hurt his (the Prophet Muhammad’s (PBUH) daughter? Is Xallma saying that the Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) only cared about his daughter and not about other women – that he didn’t mind other women being put in harms way?

    Allah allow polygamy. Polygamy is a good thing. It’s an honorable way of marriage the same way that monogamy is.

    Allah says the Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) is our example, as are all of Allah’s Prophets, and Allah instructs us to follow them. He was monogamous and polygamous; therefore, both are acceptable forms of marriage. He allows both of them.

    I don’t know what Xallma was acutally trying to say. Did she mean that polygamy was only for the Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) and not for men living today?

    There are some men in monogamous marriages who treat women just as badly as some men treat women in polygamous marriages. Women and men have problems in monogamous and polygamous marriages. If Xallma is saying that polygamous marriages are bad, she must be saying that monogamous marriages are bad as well. Therefore, all marriage is bad.

    There are some Muslims who mislead others from the path of Allah because they follow their lusts and desires. Anytime someone pops off at the mouth with the story of Ali and Fatima, it should immediately let one know where that person is coming from…

  • anabellah

    January 26, 2017

    As Salaamu Alaikum and hello all cyberspace people,

    ummof4, those were good questions that you asked Xallma.

    I’m getting some bad vibes about her. It starts with women coming here to this blog who are against polygamy. They seem to be nice in the beginning, and they are, for a while. Then they turn into a problem. Ultimately, they end up getting booted out of here. But first they end up wreaking havoc.

    If a person is anti-polygamy, this is not the blog for her. They need not be here. They should read and remain silent or click out of here and don’t come back.

    I gave Xalla, the benefit of the doubt in her post although she spouted off about Ali and Fatima. Right then, I knew where this was going. Then she comes back today, sounding nice again and seeming to want to sincerely help. She said things that she knew we’d accept and then lead into Ali and Fatima again. I see where she’s going and what she’s trying to do.

    People who are anti-polygamy come here in hopes to contradict what we stand for, what we believe and what we say on this blog. They use anti-polygamy rhetoric to do it.

    I’d rather nip it in the bud from the onset and tell those people that they are not welcome here. I see through their facade and know what they stand for.

    Why would someone who is anti-polygamy want to be here on this blog? They come here to try to disrupt it and want to turn the ladies here away from their belief. This is not a blog to debate the pros and cons of polygamy or whether it should be permitted or not etc.

    So, with it said,

    Xallma, you need to step off. This is a PRO-POLYGAMY BLOG!

  • ummof4

    January 26, 2017

    As-salaamu alaikum and hello to all,

    Welcome Xallma.  You stated that when the Prophet Muhammad (SAWS) told Ali to divorce Fatimah if he was to marry another wife showed that he understood the emotional turmoil that women go through when their husbands marry other wives.  Then you state that the Prophet treated his wives beautifully.  So his wives didn’t go through any emotional turmoil, or are you saying that the Prophet only cared about his daughter’s feelings.  I believe you contradict yourself.  A number of Muslims like to use the hadeeth you quoted as an argument against polygyny if it would cause the first wife pain. 

    Also, Xallma, you never know what Allah has in store for you in the future.  Today you may think that polygyny would have an adverse psychological effect on you, but Allah can change your mind and your heart.  

    Again, I welcome you.

  • Xallma

    January 25, 2017

    Alhamdulillah, this is thought provoking, I understand the reasoning behind Allah swt making this practise Lawful and even if I didn’t, I would never object to the guidance from My Rabb.

    I think a lot of us single sisters, including myself do not see a flaw in Allah swt ‘s sanctioning of making this beautiful concept of family. We see the fault within ourselves, I personally know of my nature, and in order to best protect my faith in Allah swt I know that I am flawed and fallible and this situation would have a psychological adverse effect on me. We also know of the Hadith where our Prophet s.a.w told Ali r.a to divorce Fatima R.A before remarrying, highlighting that our beloved Prophet s.aw understood the emotional turmoil a woman has to be exposed to before being able to be content with the situation, which he could not see his beloved daughter R.a going through. This only increases my love for our Prophet s.a.w, how beautiful is it that he understands the women of Islam, his treatment of his wives was beautiful, and knew of their hearts, emotions and feelings and was aware of how to comfort each and also of his daughters, where he knows a woman is hurt and given us women another option with example of his loved one.