A wife needs the love of her husband in polygamy more than ever when her husband is polygamous. Women who find themselves in polygamous marriages unexpectedly or unwillingly share many of the same thoughts.
For one thing, they may think that they are not good enough. They may think that they were lacking as wives, which is why their husbands married others. A feeling of insecurity takes over, and it takes them to a needy place. Therefore, a wife needs the love and attention of her husband in polygamy to help her feel good again.
A Wife needs the love of her husband in polygamy to feel special
When a woman first marries a man and she is his only wife, the husband has assured her of his love. He did it just by marrying her. She is no longer assured when he marries another. She has a need to feel that she is the favorite wife of the two. A wife needs to feel that she is more special than the other one. The first wife needs her husband to show her his love more than ever before.
Many times a man is more attentive to his first wife after he marries another. Therefore, she begins to feel his love for her more. However, no matter what he does, it doesn’t convinced her of his love for her. The husband could do all within his means to make her feel loved, special, needed and wanted, yet she doesn’t truly feel or think it. Gifts do not do it for her. Neither kind and sweet words do it for her either. There is nothing more that he could do, and she knows it.
A wife needs the love of her husband in polygamy to feel secure in the marriage. Otherwise, she is not happy. She begins to ask herself why she feels and thinks as she does. A major complaint is that he is not making her happy. Additionally, she may tell him that he could never make her happy again. Consequently, he begins to feel unhappy, as well, knowing he is unable to satisfy her. A husband wants to make his wife/wives happy.
A wife needs the love of her husband in polygamy to help keep her spirit high
Commonly, the wife feels sad, depressed, and upset with herself, thinking she is making her husband sad. She wonders why she feels the way that she does. As a result, she sets out to discover what she could do to feel better about herself, her husband and her condition.
It is important for a man and a woman to realize that happiness does not come from another person. No person can make another person happy or sad. It is why nothing the husband does makes her feel better. Nothing he does works. Rather, what he does may make her feel better for the moment, but it doesn’t last.
So, what is the solution? Allah is the answer to the problem, because he controls the heart. He controls what we feel. It is no wonder the husband’s words and actions are not making her feel good. Allah tells us that He grants laughter and tears. He lets us know He controls what we feel. He specifically says:
“That it is He Who granteth Laughter and Tears;” Quran: Surah 53; Ayah 43
Therefore, if a woman wants to feel better and she wants peace and contentment in her life, she has to get it from Allah. He has the Power and Control to make it happen. In effect, the wife had sought it all along from someone who was not able to give it to her. The husband was not able to change how she feels.
A wife needs the love of her husband in polygamy, but she needs much more
First, the wife must get herself right with her Lord (Allah). She must make life all about Him. He has commanded us to believe in Him and to obey Him. To do this we must know what He says in the Quran. Relief comes with knowledge, which we received by way of the Quran.
A wife has her work cut out for her. She should not simply ask Allah to make her happy, content, and at peace and think it will happen instantly. The time it takes for the wife to get right with her Creator is how long it will take for her to feel better about herself and her life.
Please note: Please only comment about the topic on this page. Please discuss other topics in the assigned “Discussions” area.
Share article on