People tend to blame others for their unhappiness. Blaming another especially happens in polygamous marriages. Wives blame their polygamous husbands for how they feel and for the way their lives are. They play the blame game in polygamous marriages a lot.
If her husband went out and got himself another wife, she blames him for it. If she believes it was her husband and the other woman’s choice to marry, she blames them. She will always blame her husband and the other woman for her condition, if she thinks they decided it. She will blame them for ruining her life and for making her unhappy.
Wives blame their polygamous husbands and, as a result, find no peace in the marriages. She won’t find any as long as she is bitter, angry, hateful, and resentful towards her husband. She could try to hide the feelings, yet it won’t make them go away. The feelings will eat away at her and will surface for all to see.
Wives who blame their husbands will always be miserable and unhappy. They will be malcontents as long as the husband’s other wife or wives are still in the picture. Furthermore, add children to the mix, and the problem magnifies. How could she expect a different outcome when nothing has changed? The source of her pain and agony is still there? She sees the husband, the other wife, and possibly the other wife’s children as having caused her torment.
Wives blame their polygamous husbands, which is not good for them or the marriage
For anything to change for the better, the wife may have to leave the marriage. However, she may find that she is unable to do so and doesn’t know why she can’t. She comes up with reasons or excuses for why she cannot leave. Unfortunately, she does not believe, nor does she know that Allah decides everything. He decides who remains in a marriage, who leaves it, and when.
If wives blame their polygamous husbands for their unhappiness and stay in the marriage, they will have misery and agony in it. Consequently, they suffer and are in pain with no end in sight. They don’t want to stay in the marriage, but find they cannot leave, either. They feel there is no way out. The wife needs to know that she must do something for a change to occur, if she is to find contentment in her life. First, she must stop blaming others for the way her life is.
Wives blame their polygamous husbands, but must stop it to succeed
A wife must change her belief (what is in her heart). She must want to rid herself of base emotions such as jealousy, envy, selfishness, pride, hatred etc. It begins with her having the correct belief in Allah. It means she believes Allah does all things. He makes everything happen. She has to accept Allah and believe that He decrees everything. Everything happens because He wills it. She must want to love polygamy and accept it as a good way of life.
It is not about a wife accepting polygamy, but about accepting Allah. She has to have the correct belief in Him. When one accepts Allah as the Doer of what He wills and has the correct belief in Him, she will have much that is good. When a wife is a “believer,” she will have the good in this world and the good in the Hereafter that Allah promises the “believers.”
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