Wives Complain about Polygamy Often

wives complain about polygamy often

It’s a fact that wives complain about polygamy often. Some say that their husbands are not just and fair to them. Let us take a look at what just and fair in a polygamous marriage is. When it comes to polygamy, usually, we always hear that Islam commands men to deal justly and with kindness to their wives.

It’s important to know that Allah orders us to be just and kind to all of man. Of course, it’s unless the person fights us for our faith. Polygamy doesn’t have a special right to those qualities. To be just is next to piety and Allah loves those who are just.

Wives complain about polygamy often, especially about material things

A wife may whine that the other wife gets more than she does from their husband. She would not complain, if she remember that Allah is the One who provides. Surprisingly, many wives don’t know that all things come from Allah. A wife usually praises her husband for what he gives her etc; although she owes the praise to Allah.

It’s important to realize that Allah gives of His gifts, rewards etc, as He pleases. Those whom we receive something from are only the means to deliver the goods to us.

In the case of polygamy, the husband is usually that vehicle. The wives don’t think before they open their mouths to voice their displeasure. They need to stop looking at their husbands and, instead, see Allah in all things.

They should understand that if a husband gives one wife something more valuable than he gives to the other or gives her more in general, it was Allah who gave it to her. He gave it to her for His reason(s). In time, Allah may give more to the wife who received less yesterday. There is a balance. We know that Allah is a Just God. He does things as He wills.

We don’t know how Allah will give out His blessings. He says that he gives it to us in ascertainable measures. Allah gives us what we can handle, unless He wants us to go astray. Everything is from Allah, and He has no limit in what He has to give.

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8 Comments

  • anabellah

    May 25, 2015

    @Fatimah,

    Alhumdulliah you liked the post/thread. Thank you much for letting me know. I pray Allah inspires me to write more posts that are helpful for all of us. When I write it helps me very much, as well. I love having the opportunity to do something I really love and is meaningful.

  • Fatimah

    May 24, 2015

    SUBHANULLAH! I absolutely loved reading this. I cant explain how much sense it makes. May Allah swt help me to remember to look at HIM and see HIM in all affairs. If it was for us to have more attention, we would receive it. Its a test for us and a test for the husband. NOTHING slips by Allah swt and will deal w him in a timely and JUST manner. Subhanullah wa Alhamdulillah!

  • anabellah

    January 30, 2015

    Ooops, Lynn, my bad. There was a Lina here. I’m sorry. I didn’t realize you were on a different thread now. I see Lina below.

  • anabellah

    January 30, 2015

    Lynn,

    I’m not sure who you directed the salam to in your post. I think it may have been meant for Laila or Ina, possibly. I’m not certain. It easy to get people confused and names mixed up on this blog.

  • Lynn

    January 30, 2015

    I always tell myself – Hubby can never be fair but Allah definitely is. Allah sees everything and just have faith we will be rewarded in many ways whatever shortages/unfairness by hubby.

    Each time I feel hubby is not being fair – I will tell myself its okay … its okay and say … Please Allah please bless me and my family and reward me in other ways. Guide and protect my children and give them the best you could ever give.

    @Lina – salam sis πŸ™‚ I pray you are feeling better now. Its not easy i know and somehow i totally understand what you going through.

  • anabellah

    December 5, 2014

    Lina, As Salaamu Alaikum,

    Insha Allah, you’re feeling better. Here’s a link to the post I wrote that, Insha Allah, may be helpful. https://polygamy411.com/how-to-live-a-polygamous-marriage-pain-free/ Many women are in polygamous marriages, and are going through exactly what you are. There is light at the end of the tunnel…

  • anabellah

    December 4, 2014

    Lina, Wa Alaikum As Salaam,

    I began to write a comment to you, but then thought it best to make a post/thread of it as it may reach others, as well. Insha Allah, I’ll write it within a couple of hours. Stay strong. Everything will be okay.

  • Lina

    December 4, 2014

    Assalamu`alaykum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh

    Dear Ana,

    MasyaAllah! I love this article. What is written is very much what I feel right now. Being only a year in polygamous ( 1 year 5 days to be exact) πŸ˜‰ is not that easy.

    Hubby is going to spend this school holiday with my co-wife and kids for couple of days. I started feel envy and cried a lot in front of him, this morning. πŸ™

    What a silly of me doing this when I suppose to treat him well as I’m not going to see him for many days.

    Just thinking of spending time alone at home without him make me sick and sad. I know I have to keep myself busy and should not stay alone, but most of the times I don’t feel like going out as I don’t want my family or friends see me in unhappy mood. πŸ™

    Really need advise from you and others on how to manage this envy, sad, demotivated and uncomfortable feelings when it happens. Most of the times, I can cry and cry and cry and sometimes feel like give up. πŸ™

    I’m thankful to Allah that I came across this blog and I can learn a lot from others stories and polygamous experience.

    As of now, I’m clueless about my own feelings. I can be in love with hubby and suddenly can get mad at him, and after a few minutes I feel sorry for my childish behaviour and seek apology to him.

    I did apologize for more than thousands time I think, but I’ll repeat it. πŸ™

    Hubby is such a kind, loving, responsible, forgiving to me. He loves me as much as he loves his another family but it just me sometimes feel insecure.

    Please assist me as I don’t want to get too emotional and affect my marriage life.