Women here at polygamy 411 have asked how wives cope dealing polygamy when they have children. Ideally, a husband and all his wives would live near one another. This way he could see his children and his wives regularly. He could be there for them, if they have an emergency.
I’ve read books about the Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) in which I learned that his wives lived close to one another. Furthermore, I learned that he visited each of them daily. I don’t see that happening today. Some husbands have wives who live thousands of miles away from each other or in different countries.
I’d imagine wives cope dealing polygamy with children when the husbands aren’t there the same way wives cope when their husbands are monogamous and aren’t there. For instance, there are monogamous husbands who often travel for business or are workaholic, meaning they are always working.
How wives cope dealing polygamy depends a lot on whether they have a support system, as well. Mine is my Islamic family and my non-Muslim biological family. They are “Johnny on the spot” there for me, if I need them. It helps when a wife has family and friends nearby who will help her, because they love her. They don’t mind helping her at all.
How wives cope dealing polygamy depends on their knowledge of the Quran, as well
Allah tells us to use the Quran to guide us. For instance, when I’m in a situation, I say, what in the Quran resembles that which I am going through? What would Allah tell me to do in a situation such as the one that I am in?
When a wife is in a bind and her polygamous husband is away with his other wife, what should she do? What should she do when she has to cope with emergencies that involve her children and her husband is not there? It’s when she should remember what she read in the Quran that could help her get through it?
Mary, the mother of Prophet Jesus (PBUH), when she was pregnant and gave birth alone, is the story from the Quran that comes to my mind at times. She had no one there to help her. Try to imagine what she went through.
I think of the story of the wife of Prophet Abraham (PBUH). He took her to the desert and left her there to fend for herself. He knew Allah would take care of her. She managed.
Another story is that of Prophet Musa’s (PBUH) and his mother. Allah instructed her to put him in the basket and cast him into the river. She did it and Pharoah’s family took him in. She had put her faith and trust in Allah.
The stories that are in the Quran could help wives cope dealing polygamy
They are lessons for us. They are not fairy tales, bedtime stories, or a means to past time. Those stories are there for us to use as a guide to apply to our lives.
Most of what we leaned and what we imagined isn’t the way life is. We as Muslim/Believers need to understand that Allah wrote the script. We won’t have what we want all the time. It’s just not the way life is. We need to learn to accept life the way that it is.
When wives apply the lessons from the Holy Quran to their lives, wives cope dealing polygamy. They can do it.
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