Why do wives forgive polygamous husbands but not the co-wives? Most wives in polygamous marriages find it very easy to forgive their husbands. They’ll forgive their husbands for the wrong, hurt or pain that they believe their husbands caused them by taking on other wives. They don’t want to forgive the co-wives. I call it selective forgiveness in polygamy.
Some people ask why a wife who married first hates the wife who arrived after her, but does not hate the husband. After all, despite how it came about, both the husband and the latter wife are responsible for having married. Nonetheless, the earlier wife always seems to paint the latter wife as the “bad” person. She blames the other for disrupting her marriage and speaks badly of her.
Wives forgive polygamous husbands based on of a bond that they have with their husbands. A husband and a wife have a bond that is like none other. Intimacy creates a bond that binds. They were probably married for a good amount of time, as well. It binds them even more. The wife who comes later doesn’t have that.
A husband and a wife spend a lot of time together. They sleep together and have sexual relations together. Let’s not forget that they probably have children together, as well. The wives don’t share those things with each other.
Wives forgive polygamous husbands probably because of the intense sexual bond that they share
When the husband enters her body and they become one, it is a strong sexual connection. Sexual intercourse is powerful. It seals a marriage. It’s a sexual intimacy that she does not have with the other woman. At least, I hope she doesn’t.
With it said, it’s understandable how she could still love her husband and hate the husband’s latter wife. She has nothing in common with his other wife. They are merely married to the same man. Other than it, the latter wife is nothing to the other wife. She thinks the woman her husband married invaded her territory. Wives forgive polygamous husbands, but not the women whom they view as intruders.
It is easier to forgive a person whom we love than it is to forgive anyone else. Especially, it is easier to forgive a spouse. It is difficult for a wife to forgive someone whom she views as a rival or competitor.
Based on the above, we can see how a wife who married earlier may resent her husband’s latter wife. There is no love between the two. It will take a lot for the wives to get to like each other let alone love each other. Allah would have to make it happen. He can say be and then it simply is. He could make those who are enemies today, friends tomorrow.
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