Polygamy 411

There are people who know very little about Islam. But there is one thing many seem to know and that is a Muslim man can have four wives.

Islam allows men to engage in polygamy. They may have two, three, or four wives at the same time and be polygamous or may have one wife and be monogamous. Nonetheless, the number of wives that a man may have in Islam, if he chooses to engage in polygamy, must not exceed four at any given time.

A Muslim man who engages in polygamy should deal justly with his wives in all matters that are within his limit – mainly in matters of maintenance. He is to divide his wealth and the time he spends with each of his wives equally, especially his nights. A woman may forgo any of her rights, and reclaim them at anytime. He does not have to deal justly or without favoritism with his wives about the love that he has in his heart for them, as Allah (Great and Glorious is He) controls the heart.

POLYGAMY – The general definition

In general, the word “polygamy” refers to a marriage with more than one spouse at the same time. One person from one sex marries more than one person from the opposite sex, simultaneously. It includes a man who has more than one wife at the same time or a woman who has more than one husband at the same time.

POLYGAMY IN ISLAM – The simple definition

Speaking from an Islamic viewpoint, polygamy means a man has more than one wife at one time and the number of wives he has does not exceed four at a time.

POLYGYNY – the definition

“Polygyny” refers to a marriage of one man with more than one wife at the same time. Polygyny does not address a woman having more than one husband at a time.

Is it POLYGAMY OR POLYGYNY?

When one refers to polygamy in Islam, there is no need to debate whether the proper word is “polygamy” or ” polygyny”. I am certain no one has ever heard a Muslim woman has had more than one husband at the same time – NEVER in Islam.

Arguing “polygamy” and “polygyny” in Islam seems useless and is merely a matter of semantics. We, in Islam, know what polygamy is, so why argue about the words?

POLYGAMY DID NOT BEGIN WITH ISLAM

Islam did not create polygamy. Polygamy existed in varying degrees in different parts of the world, in diverse cultures before the spread of Islam. Polygamy was the practice of Jews, Christians, Buddhist, pre-Islamic Arabs, and perhaps others, as well. What Islam did was to organize polygamy, and restrict it to four wives under strict rules of justice.

There were; there still are; and there will always be people who misuse what they are given. In those cases, it is wrong to blame the authority or the giver. Blame the man who misuses what he is given. The man who misuses polygamy will be held accountable by his Creator (Allah).

SOME REASONS MEN ENGAGE IN POLYGAMY

Some reasons why men engage in polygamy are:

There were frequent wars between ethnic groups and nations. These wars resulted in an excess of women over men, as many men died in battle. In order to accommodate the excess number of women to men, polygamy was a remedy.

Polygamy healed the wounded heart of a woman whose husband died in battle.

Polygamy helped rehabilitate widows, orphans, and other women who were left without supporters or husbands as a result of war.

Polygamy was the solution for women who were helpless and destitute. A polygamous marriage provided those women with a means of livelihood and protection.

It was a chivalrous act to marry as many women as a man could support.

It was a huge indignity on a family and the entire tribe, if a female remained unmarried or married below her social status. Eligible girls of marriageable age had many offers of marriage. Parents competed with each other in providing enticement in the form of jewelry and property as dower.

Men engaged in polygamy to assure an increase in the birthrate. It was necessary for every person to try to increase the numbers in the tribe to which it belonged.

Polygamy was a solution in some cases where a wife was chronically ill, incapacitated, or unable to bear children.

THE NEED FOR POLYGAMY IS NOT OBSOLETE

There are still wars that leave women widowed.

There are still single women who cannot find husbands.

It does not matter whether a woman has a higher education, is a physician, educator, or a lawyer; it does not matter what socio-economic status she holds; for many women, marriage is their dream. Regardless of how much she excels in her work, for a woman (not all women, of course) her subconscious aim is that of having a family of her own, shared by a good man who is the father of her children.

There still are reproductively challenged (barren) married women; therefore, a husband may need to marry another to add to his lineage.

The Quran is for all men and for all times. Polygamy is permissible in Islam. That permission was given to men by Allah (Great and Glorious is He)

IS POLYGAMY EASY TO LIVE?

A life of polygamy is probably a challenge for everyone that lives it. Polygamous marriages are not all the same, just as monogamous marriages are not all the same. Neither polygamy, nor monogamy is easy, which is shown by the divorce rates.

POLYGAMY 411

Polygamy 411 invites all and welcomes everyone, Muslims and non-Muslims, here.

We invite everyone to share their stories about their lives and what they’ve experienced with polygamy.

We welcome all to read the story of my journey, as I lived and live polygamy.

I pray Allah (Great and Glorious is He) blesses us to become better Muslims, to become “Believers”, and to grow closer to Him.

All of us at polygamy 411 thank you for visiting, reading, and sharing with us!

This is an open house. No need to knock. Just come on in.

“Allah has indeed heard (and accepted) the statement of the woman who pleads with thee concerning her husband and carries her complaint (in prayer) to Allah: and Allah (always) hears the argument between both sides among you: for Allah hears and sees (all things).”
Quran: Surah Al Mudadilah 58, Iyah 1

 

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